


Always

by poppetawoppet



Series: dance [3]
Category: American Idol RPF
Genre: Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-07
Updated: 2015-09-07
Packaged: 2018-04-19 14:05:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 457
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4749119
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/poppetawoppet/pseuds/poppetawoppet
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A little epilogue  You asked me to really fix it. I'm not sure I did, but it's certainly resolved now.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Always

It's been awhile since you've seen him.

It's not like you don't talk, but there is some sort of unspoken agreement that it might be better if you didn't see each other.

But you've asked him over, against better instincts.

After all, Josh has been gone for almost three years now, swept away in a quiet divorce that left both of you reasonably settled. You don't regret him, because you loved him. Love him still. But you've learned that sometimes love isn't enough. That working on love isn't always possible.

It's okay, because you still have your friends, and your daughter is quite content to hop between houses. For now.

But after everything has calmed down, a lingering question remains. You've always wondered about him, the one who got away, even though, really, you never had him to begin with.

You answer the door with a smile and a hug, familiar and too brief.

You exchange pleasantries, congratulate each other on small successes, and sit down at the couch. It's good to see him. He looks happier than he has in a long time.

"How are you, really?" You ask.

You wonder sometimes if he still feels the same about you. Love is not something either of you give up on easily. You still can't quite define your feelings for him, because you don't honestly know. It's been so long.

"I'm good. I-uh…" He pauses and looks at you. "I have to ask you something."

"Okay."

"Am I here because we're friends, or am I here because once upon a time, you discovered I was hopelessly in love with you?"

"Both? I don't know. Not really."

He laughs then, throwing his head back. "Still as honest as ever. I'm seeing someone right now."

"I know. I wasn't asking you out."

"Just making sure."

He grins at you in that same way he used to, all those years ago, when things were simple between you.

He stays for a long time, catching up on all the years apart. You hug him tightly, telling him not to be a stranger any more. He kisses your cheek, and promises to call. You watch him drive away.

Even if you thought you felt more than friendship for him (and you don't think you'll ever be sure), you know your time has passed, that the remote possibility has gone. He still loves you. That will never change. But the time isn't right for you. If it ever was.

But at least you can see him again. There is that much.

You brush your fingers against your cheek, still feeling the warm press of his lips against it. Even though you know it wasn't meant to be, you still wonder.

You always will.  



End file.
